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Save Some for Me: Inspiration for Single Mothers and the People who Love Them
by Susan A. Jennings
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 Separation Honeymoon: Relief for Me-Guilt for Him
Rodney's departure took two months. We decided he should stay until after Christmas for the sake of the children and for his birthday in January. Rodney was quite happy with the set up. Why wouldn't he be? He had declared his freedom, his girlfriend was across many oceans in South Africa, and I was his maid, housekeeper and nanny. We even slept in the same bed, which I find hard to believe. You could have driven a truck between us, but even so it felt very weird and I was uncomfortable with the arrangement.
My life was on hold and it was difficult to know how to behave. We were still husband and wife to the outside world and to the children, whom had not yet been told. At the same time I was trying to make plans to move into this strange single world, with the ever-watchful eyes of my ex-partner observing my every move. The excuses were numerous, until finally I asked him to leave. He reluctantly found an apartment and told everyone I had thrown him out of the house. If that made him feel better, I could live with that as long as he left. Unfortunately, the children were told this and I was to discover much later that Katrina believed that I was the one who broke up the family, and some of her later problems came from this one misconception.
I decided to look for work. I am not clear as to my motives at the time, whether I was being a martyr, or exercising my need to find independence or my instinct to provide for my children. Perhaps it was all of the above. Looking back it seems to me that parenting five children alone was a demanding enough job, without adding work outside the home. Somehow I had rationalized that Rodney should support the children but he didn't need to support me.
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