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True Stories of an Irish Upbringing and Other
lies by Dan Daneen
Price $ 17.00>> 
 Washrooms
and the Like
Washrooms came in many different forms and sizes, and
in Ireland the name was also varied. W.C. which stood
for water closet was the most common, slightly ahead
of washroom, which makes little sense as a name because Irish
washrooms were never large enough to wash in. In fact they
were seldom large enough to allow one to perform the most
basic need of that room. Toilet was also used but likewise, that
name was from another time and place. Outhouse and the loo had
many supporters in the name race. The name that brings back the
fondest memories for me was the label that the government,
in its desire to encourage Gaelic, placed on all ladies’ public
washrooms. It was “mna” which meant “ladies” in English. This
name had the most desirable effect on lady tourists, who
usually considered “mna” an example of poor Irish spelling of
“man” and sloppy sign writing. They headed for the alternate
facility labeled with a name they could not comprehend and
entered at the gallop to take advantage of its services. Their
consternation, embarrassment, and exquisite confusion were
always of great amusement to small boys who frequently tried
to enter, hot on the heels of the unfortunate victim to maximize
the horror and perplexity of their unintentional intrusion into the
sanctity of the men’s washroom.
My parents had for many years an idyllic summer residence in
Connemara where the washroom, for lack of a better name, was
a small, corrugated lean-to attached to the weather end of the
cottage. This facility gave the name “can” to the washroom, as
that was exactly what it was! Sanitation was achieved by the
liberal use of a foul smelling liquid. For reasons one must assume
of ventilation, there was an eighteen inch opening around the
bottom of this edifice that allowed chickens and ducks easy
access. They soon decided that this prerogative meant that they
were the rightful occupants and they resented their periodic
expulsions that were forced on them by people in the need. It is
most embarrassing to have a ring of birds viewing one during
the personal moments and gave the impression of obviously
inquiring as to why it was taking so long. On wet rainy nights the
ownership of this building was often hotly disputed...
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