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True Stories of an Irish Upbringing and Other
lies by Dan Daneen
Price $ 17.00>> 
 School
Days
School days were not the happiest days of my life! I had fun but
I also got into a lot of trouble. I was the recipient of many strokes
of the cane and/or strap. I have never been able to figure out why
they were called strokes. To me a stroke is something gentle and
soothing. For those of you who have gone through life without the
privilege of feeling either of the above, I can assure you the cane
and the strap are not gentle and soothing. The pain of not being
able to sit down was a badge of pride and courage for my friends,
who regularly received what is charmingly called corporal punishment.
The question that immediately comes to mind is, “Are we the better
for it?” I say, “Definitely yes.” In retrospect and as a major recipient
of the cane and strap, I was taught that we have to pay the price
for our misdeeds, and be man enough to take the punishment. I never
looked on the cane and strap as a means to stop me from doing the
deed again, but just the price I had to pay before I picked myself
up and started over again. The retribution that we all really feared
was expulsion from school. I was fortunate enough to duck that bullet
when it came near me a few times because Lady Fortune smiled on
me.
I would rather not go into my academic prowess, or lack thereof,
as I was not a good student. I did as little as possible. Survival
was the major objective, followed closely by having fun and playing
games. The longer I went to school the more I realized how much
classes got in the way of having a good time. It was not until after
I left Trinity College and I went to earn a few pounds that I realized
school did have some minor applications in life. I have always believed
that the best way to make people think that you have a high I.Q.
is to keep your mouth shut...
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