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The Path to Cure: The Whole Art of Healing
by Allyson A. McQuinn
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 The Depths of Treatment
I had spent most of my life looking outside myself for the source of my grief and anxiety. I spent a good deal of time blaming others for my own perceived misfortunes. I was so easily angered by anything that appeared to threaten my homemade suit of armor. I’d spent countless years and much energy arranging each shield of defense so that it would effectively protect my vital organs; my feelings. In fact, I wasn’t sure what my true feelings were anymore as they were buried so far below the metal plates on the surface. Every reaction was filtered by the grief, anger, fear and guilt I harbored which skewed any of my real feelings when they would try to emerge. Sometimes I would listen to my reactions and wonder who the pathetic woman was that was speaking.
I honestly don't know what force urged me to continue with the remedies in those early days as I could feel every metal plate being unscrewed one agonizing turn at a time. This process was indeed destabilizing for me and the counter actions huge, and so from the onset when I began placing the single drop of the emotional remedies into two huge glasses of water I would try to suppress the fear as the black ogre in my imagination continued the intense ascent up over my head.
As mentioned, this lasted for almost three weeks when I noticed the muck and mire starting to subside. I felt a little bit better, a little more clear-headed and my energy level seemed somewhat increased from before. I embraced the opportunity to list all of my complaints for Patty who filled many sheets of blank paper over the months to follow. I remember reviewing all of my sufferings as if they happened yesterday, "...every winter I get three to four chronic sinus infections", I began, "wicked PMS lasting 2 weeks at a stretch, severe Psoriasis on my scalp, monthly bladder and yeast infections, fogged-in every time there is a low pressure system, a constant hunger with bouts of over-eating and I'm dragged out exhausted all of the time."
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