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Eagle Born to Fly: Finding Life Beyond
Depression by Sharon C. Matthies
Price $15.00 >> 
Part 5- Life Around the Bend
Understanding my INF-Ness
Despite the many years of psychoanalysis and evolving insights,
we were never really able to completely eradicate my lifelong problem
of feeling like a social misfit. I had learned to get along "out
there," but only by becoming an expert chameleon, quickly adapting
myself to the social environment in which I found myself at any
given time. This didn’t mean that I ever deliberately compromised
my spiritual or social values; it just meant that in a noisy extroverted
party crowd, I was noisy and extroverted, although it never felt
completely comfortable.
My favourite milieu was the more intimate, introspective setting,
where we would talk about life and meaning and mystical spiritual
things, but that kind of gathering was difficult to find outside
of the prayer community settings. As deep as my faith ever was,
I didn’t always enjoy being confined to the oft-times suffocating
sterility of discussing religion from only the Christian Biblical
perspective. I enjoyed learning about other religions’ spirituality,
like Buddhism, Taoism or Zen, gathering new insights into the mystical
world of contemplation, which I would then adapt to enhance my own
spiritual evolvement through Christian praise and meditation.
It was impossible to find groups of other like-minded people who
also found meaningful pleasure in exploring those mystical philosophical
possibilities in coffee table discussions. I had long ago resigned
myself to the reality that if I wanted to be included in any social
gatherings at all, I had to bury these introspective facets of myself
and be more like the people with whom I was sharing space at any
given time.
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