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Eagle Born to Fly: Finding Life Beyond
Depression by Sharon C. Matthies
Price $15.00 >> 
Part 4 - Relapse and Rebound
…Then Mom
I spent my first 30-plus years very angry, and very confused about
being so angry. Whenever I looked back over my early life at home,
I just couldn’t figure it out. My childhood was for the most
part exceptionally wonderful. It was full of fun, discovery, friends,
play, music – if I could sum those early years up in one descriptive
image it would be a happy little child skipping down the road, exploring
the neighbourhood with magnificent freedom, singing to the sun and
stars with great joy and carefree abandon.
And yet, I arrived at the age of 13 haunted by that ever-deepening
sadness and darkness, somehow thoroughly convinced that everyone
would be better off if I were dead. A child doesn’t suddenly
get to that precarious edge from nothing. Well, hmmm, let’s
think about that one. That may be precisely how one gets there,
by too much nothingness.
Confusion latches onto the angst of not knowing who or why I am;
insecurity rises, as each perceived rejection drags me further away
from the certainty that I have a niche in the world; despair quietly
roots itself within the growing perception that my existence has
no authentic meaning or purpose.
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