|
home >
writing tools and books > view
all books > eagle born to fly
Eagle Born to Fly: Finding Life Beyond
Depression by Sharon C. Matthies
Price $15.00 >> 
Part 2 - Being There
At Death’s Dark Doorstep
We tried for two years to pull me out of this impenetrable shroud
of depression, but while we were able to keep me believing in the
worthwhile-ness of the struggle, nothing seemed to be able to budge
me out. My fingers of faith were raw from trying to claw my way
out through prayer and blind trust. I knew I was in serious trouble
late one Friday afternoon in August of 1984.
I had managed to find some work that year. My first job was a three-month
government contract as an office clerk. Then I was hired by a temporary
placement agency, and had just finished my first assignment for
them. While I was glad to be working, especially enjoying the relief
of having a regular paycheck again, all my brave attempts to fool
myself into thinking I was okay and finally over this depression
had failed miserably.
As I sat there in my temporary office one Friday afternoon, watching
others head home for weekends with their families and friends, my
aloneness once more filled me with desolation. A tidal wave of deep
dark despair hit me right in the stomach like a ton of bricks. It
was never going to get better. I was always going to feel like this.
And "this" was intolerable. I couldn’t do this anymore.
>> Back to Table of Contents
|
